


Time and Fallen Leaves

by bunyoul



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: AU setting, Angst, Supernatural Elements, i feel bad for writing it, im still assuming that phone calls with dead people counts as supernatural, it starts out cute then suddenly everyone is crying, this is just really sad tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 04:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12203709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunyoul/pseuds/bunyoul
Summary: Soonyoung has one phone call in which he can fix things





	Time and Fallen Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> I've been trying to write this since july and I'm suffering it took such a long time  
> It's finally done though I honestly never want to look at this again  
> This is technically a prequel/sequel type thing to Letting Go ([read it here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11215992)) and while it's not really essential, I would recommend reading that one first because it will probably help explain some of the context and the AU this is set in ;u;  
> ((the title is from the song time and fallen leaves by akmu))

 

_ I’m walking barefoot through the memories _

_ With the fallen leaves _

_ I’m letting go of the people I haven’t been able to forget _

 

_ ♬ _

  
  


Jihoon had always been fascinated by the idea of the phonecalls and the concept of communicating with the dead. It was how Soonyoung had met him; when he was fourteen years old and sitting in the corner of the library, pouring over a book detailing how contacting the dead is possible, a sheet of notes tucked under the back page that he had been making since the library had opened that morning. Soonyoung, fifteen at the time, had sat next to him and attempted to introduce himself, before receiving a pen to the forehead and being told to sit somewhere else. 

 

When Soonyoung showed up at the library again the next day and attempted to introduce himself a second time, he received similar treatment.

 

The third time he tried, the same thing happened. Soonyoung would have stopped trying at that point- if he hadn’t been so stubbornly determined to get Jihoon to like him. Jihoon would have just accepted his introduction, if he wasn’t so averse to the idea of someone with so much energy invading his personal space. 

 

Neither of them felt like relenting, so neither of them did. 

 

Soonyoung was the first to stop trying. Instead of sitting at Jihoon’s table, he sat by himself at the other side of the library, pulling a notebook out of his bag and doodling on one of the pages absentmindedly. He could feel Jihoon watching him from across the room. 

 

“Stop making me feel sorry for you.” The sound of a chair moving beside him and books dropping onto the table caused Soonyoung to look up. Jihoon didn’t say another word and went back to reading his books, but he didn’t seem to mind Soonyoung’s presence nearly as much as he had beforehand. 

 

When Soonyoung next tried to sit next to Jihoon, the shorter boy cleared a space for him and introduced himself.

 

“I’m Jihoon.” He had three books spread out on the table in front of him, and Soonyoung tried to lean over to look at them, almost toppling out of his chair in the process.

 

“I know. I’m in your class.” Soonyoung pointed at the page of notes covered in Jihoon’s handwriting. “What are you writing about?” 

 

“The phone calls.” Jihoon explained to him, gesturing to the books. “Researching them is like a summer project for me.” 

 

“Can you tell me about them?” At Soonyoung’s request, Jihoon’s expression visibly brightened. 

 

Jihoon sat and explained how the ability to contact the recently dead had been around as long as anyone could remember- how it started off as being able to receive a final letter from loved ones, but communication with the dead switched to the method of phone calls upon the invention of the telephone. He talked about how nobody knew how long the number would last if someone didn’t make the phone call, and explained how the call could only last for a few hours before cutting off. According to one of the books Jihoon was studying, the longest a phone call had ever lasted was 10 hours, and the longest time anyone had waited and still managed to call the number sucessfully was 3 years. Soonyoung listened intently to the explanation trying to take in as much of the information as possible. 

 

“Have you ever received a number?” Jihoon asked him once he had finished speaking, and Soonyoung nodded. It had been years ago, when he was almost too young to understand what was happening, but he had received a number from an old relative who had passed away. The conversation wasn’t anything spectacular, a simple exchange of goodbyes and a promise from Soonyoung to live his life well, but it stuck in his memory all the same. 

 

“I haven’t had one.” Jihoon glanced at his notes again. “It’s probably not something I should hope for, but I want to see what it’s like.” 

 

♬

 

They met in the library frequently for the rest of summer. Soonyoung helped Jihoon with his notes, fetching books and helping him look things up, and before long the project had gone from being something Jihoon worked on alone to something that they were both interested in. They started to meet outside of the library too, buying ice creams and sitting in the shade of trees in the park, cross legged on the grass, surrounded by flowers and small insects. 

 

Soonyoung made sure to get a seat near Jihoon when they got back to school and found themselves in the same class again. They sat near the back of the classroom and passed notes between working, and met up at lunchtimes to eat together. Their sudden friendship seemed to confuse many people due to how different they were from each other. Jihoon liked to stay indoors, Soonyoung liked the fresh air. Jihoon liked to sing, Soonyoung liked to dance. Jihoon was quiet, Soonyoung was loud. Yet they still seemed to make things work between them.

 

They started meeting frequently in the park as summer faded into autumn, the leaves on the trees turning golden and raining down to scatter themselves on the ground. The air turned crisp, not cold enough to be uncomfortable, but just enough to bring coats and scarves up from the bottoms of drawers and the backs of cupboards.

♬

 

Jihoon preferred to stick to the middle of the path, sipping hot chocolate quietly, while Soonyoung always walked to the side and kicked his way through piles of leaves, sending them flying up into the air then fluttering back down. 

 

“What sort of job do you want to do in the future?” Jihoon spoke up from where the lower half of his face was buried in his scarf. 

 

Soonyoung shrugged. “Dance, I guess. It’s something I enjoy, so I might as well make a career out of it. What about you?”

 

“I want to study the phonecalls. There’s still so much we don’t know about them, and the work we did over the summer just made me more curious.” Jihoon paused for a few moments. “I might want to become a singer though. Or I might compose music.” 

 

“I’ve never heard you sing. You talk about it so much but I’ve never actually heard it.” Soonyoung smiled hopefully at Jihoon, but the shorter boy shook his head.

 

“I’ll show you some day- not now though. I haven’t seen you dance either.” 

 

Soonyoung threw a wry smile in Jihoon’s direction. “I’ll show you some day.” Jihoon leaned over and shoved Soonyoung lightly for echoing his words, but still smiled in amusement. 

 

They continued walking, Jihoon joining Soonyoung in kicking at the leaves piled by the side of the pavement.

 

♬

 

Soonyoung first heard Jihoon sing a month later, as the branches on the trees were almost fully bare and the ground was coated in hues of red and gold. They both lay on the floor of Soonyoung’s bedroom, tangled up in blankets as they mumbled meaningless words of conversation that would be forgotten later to one another, while the time faded from late night to early morning. 

 

“I got another number.” Soonyoung spoke in a hushed voice. It was someone he was close to this time- a family friend who would bake him cakes and held his hands to keep him upright while he danced around the living room as a young child who tripped over his own feet too often. 

 

“Can I see?” Jihoon’s response was quiet, almost hesitant, and he sat up, shuffling closer to Soonyoung with his blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. Reaching into the drawers by his bed, Soonyoung pulled out the paper and unfolded it, showing it to Jihoon. Jihoon looked, but didn’t touch it, instead wrapping an arm around Soonyoung in an attempt to comfort him. When Soonyoung leaned into the touch, resting his head on Jihoon’s shoulder, he didn’t pull away like usual. 

 

“I haven’t called it yet- I don’t want to say goodbye.” Soonyoung felt his voice growing unsteady.

 

“Try not to wait too long though- I know it’s hard, but waiting just causes more problems than it solves.” Jihoon spoke softly, and Soonyoung leaned into him closer, nodding silently. Still holding onto Soonyoung, Jihoon started singing, starting off as a soft hum that eventually formed into lyrics, clear and even toned, the melody slowly stealing Soonyoung’s sadness away piece by piece. Jihoon’s eyes were closed as he sung, eyelashes brushing against his cheeks as he spilled out music, and Soonyoung felt dizzy.

 

He called the number the next day, and found that goodbyes were easier to say than he thought.

 

♬

 

Jihoon didn’t see Soonyoung dance properly till the following year. Winter was beginning to ease away into spring when Soonyoung allowed Jihoon to escort him to a friendly dance competition at the studio he practiced at. Sitting at the side of the studio amongst parents and siblings, Jihoon felt more than a little out of place.

 

Soonyoung made direct eye contact with jihoon as he walked towards the middle of the studio and gave his name when his turn came around. The dance routine was relatively simple, but Soonyoung threw all of his effort into it, maintaining a steady grin on his face as he ran through well practiced movements, ticking off components in his head for every section he completed correctly. The studio blurred around him until all he could focus on was the dance, the music, and the feeling of Jihoon watching him. 

 

“I want you to choreograph something I’ve composed some day.” Jihoon approached Soonyoung, breathlessly excited, and although he didn’t win the competition, Soonyoung couldn’t stop himself from feeling proud anyway.

 

♬

 

It was during the following autumn that Soonyoung found himself falling in love with Jihoon.

 

In September, he started noticing small things that he never paid attention to before; the way Jihoon’s eyes lit up when he talked about music, the way his hair- now dyed pink- was easily ruffled in even the slightest breeze, the way he carried notebooks filled with song lyrics around with him. 

 

In October, those small details started to make Soonyoung’s head spin. He considered avoiding Jihoon to escape the way his heart seemed to turn itself inside out every time the shorter boy laughed or pushed him good-naturedly, but he missed walking through the park amongst the fallen leaves too much to do so.

 

In the middle of November, Soonyoung tripped and fell in the middle of the park while Jihoon laughed so hard that he could barely stay on his feet, and Soonyoung realised that he was more than a little bit in love. 

 

♬

 

Jihoon’s project for the summer was music composition. 

 

Soonyoung spent the majority of the holidays in Jihoon’s bedroom, sitting behind Jihoon as he worked on his music, fitting together sounds and rhythms, concentrated to the point where he would go hours without saying a word. Occasionally, he would turn around and ask Soonyoung for advice or for an opinion on the music he was working on, but the holidays were mainly spent in comfortable silence.

 

By the end of the summer, Jihoon had created several compositions all jumping between different styles and genres, but he claimed that none of them were good enough for Soonyoung to dance to.

 

♬

 

Soonyoung put off revealing his feelings for Jihoon till the following autumn, bottling everything up out of fear of disturbing the friendship he had managed to build. It was during October, in the park once again, while he and Jihoon walked around aimlessly, sipping hot chocolate, that Soonyoung felt his ability to keep his feelings to himself break. 

 

Jihoon had laughed at a joke that Soonyoung had told, his face slightly red from the cold and his now blonde hair falling into his eyes, and Soonyoung breathed in heavily, deciding to act before he could decide against the idea.

 

“I can tell you anything, right?” Soonyoung asked hesitantly, and Jihoon’s expression changed to a concerned one.

 

“Why? Is there something wrong?” 

 

Shaking his head, Soonyoung forced himself to continue speaking. “No, nothing wrong. I just need to tell you,” he breathed in shakily, trying to stabilize his voice. “I like you a lot, okay. In an ‘ _ I want to date you _ ’ sort of way rather than a ‘ _ we’re best friends _ ’ way.” Soonyoung knew he should stop talking and gauge Jihoon’s reaction, but he found that he couldn’t stop himself. “And if you don’t feel the same way back then that’s fine, and I really hope we can stay being friends either way because I don’t want to lose you, and-” Jihoon cut Soonyoung off by placing a hand on his knee firmly.

 

“You’re rambling.” Jihoon spoke softly, and Soonyoung’s gaze scanned over his face to find no traces of anything that could betray how the shorter boy was feeling. Impulsiveness guiding his actions, Soonyoung jumped to his feet and ran away from Jihoon as fast as he could, stumbling in his haste to escape the concept of ruining his and Jihoon’s friendship. He ran blindly, not bothering to check which direction he was heading in and narrowly avoiding the other people walking in the park.

 

“Stop running!” Soonyoung stumbled to a halt, almost unbalancing, as Jihoon ran to catch up to him, breathing heavily. His blonde hair was ruffled and messy and he grabbed onto Soonyoung’s coat as if trying to hold him in place. “I’m not as fast as you.” 

 

Soonyoung considered shaking Jihoon’s hand free and making an escape, not wanting to face rejection, but Jihoon spoke before he could move.

 

“I can’t believe I’m having to do this in public.” Jihoon mused, almost to himself, before grabbing the lapels of Soonyoung’s coat and dragging him down into a kiss. It barely lasted longer than a few seconds, but Soonyoung felt like he was about to collapse. Letting go of Soonyoung’s coat, Jihoon stepped back, ears and face flushed red. “I like you too- can we please go somewhere more private now?” 

 

Soonyoung blinked dazedly, before nodding and following Jihoon back through the park.

 

♬

 

Winter came and with it brought snow and hiding from the bad weather in warm bedrooms, stealing kisses and Christmas-themed chocolates. Jihoon worked on new songs and hummed carols under his breath while Soonyoung worked on choreographies for his Christmas dance showcase, moving under the stage lights in the confidence that Jihoon was watching him from the audience. When they went out, it was to cafes with warm drinks, or to the ice rink, where Jihoon would laugh at how Soonyoung could be graceful on stage, but not so much on ice, and Soonyoung would dedicate his time to tripping Jihoon over. 

 

Spring came with flowers, rain and lighter night-times. Soonyoung liked to steal Jihoon’s umbrella and hold it out of reach as they walked to school, leaving the shorter boy to get soaked by the rain, and Jihoon liked to kick Soonyoung’s shins and shake water over him. Soonyoung brought up the idea of kissing in the rain, and Jihoon frowned, claiming that they would get hypothermia if they stayed outside. They made plans to attend university together and sent off their application forms, Jihoon aiming to major in music composition and Soonyoung in dance, a performance-based university holding the promise of a future together.

 

Summer brought exam stress and revision timetables, days filled with textbooks and pouring over sheets of notes. Soonyoung brought Jihoon coffee to keep him awake while he studied, and Jihoon kept Soonyoung focused, reminding him to stay attentive. By the times exams hit, they rarely saw each other outside of school. 

 

The end of summer came with lazy evenings, late sunsets and the arrival of University acceptance letters.

 

♬

 

“Did you get your letter?” Jihoon called Soonyoung early in the morning, and Soonyoung had to spend time waking himself up while Jihoon berated him for taking too long, a nervous excitement to his voice. “Hurry up and check, I’m not opening mine till you get yours.” 

 

“Okay, okay.” Rubbing at his eyes, Soonyoung made his way downstairs, heart jumping a little as he spotted the envelope lying in front of the door. “It’s here.”

 

“Sit down somewhere and we’ll open it at the same time.” Soonyoung sat down at the kitchen table, hearing Jihoon flop down heavily onto his bed or some similar surface on the other end of the phone line.

 

“Open it in 3.” Soonyoung spoke, hoping to keep the nervousness out of his voice as he counted down and tore open the letter. Jihoon let out a surprised exclamation at the same time as Soonyoung felt his heart drop. 

 

“Soonyoung! Soonyoung I got in!” Jihoon’s voice was brimming with excitement as he spoke. Soonyoung looked down at his letter,  _ regretfully informing _ him that he would not be attending the university, and ended the call without saying a word.

 

♬

 

Soonyoung broke up with Jihoon as the leaves started to fall from the trees once again.

 

He tried to convince himself that he was doing it for Jihoon, that he didn’t want to hold Jihoon back from his own studies, that trying to keep up a long distance relationship it would just hurt him. Persuading himself only went so far however, and Soonyoung couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being nothing but selfish. 

 

“I think we should break up.” Soonyoung forced his voice to remain steady as he stood opposite Jihoon in the park, days before Jihoon left for University. The leaves that fell around them were the same colour as Jihoon’s hair.

 

“What?” Jihoon recoiled as if Soonyoung had punched him. Soonyoung reasoned that hitting Jihoon would probably feel better than the words that spilled from him. 

 

“I’m just not happy any more.” A lie- being with Jihoon had made Soonyoung the happiest he’d ever been. “I don’t think we work well together.” Another lie- Soonyoung had never connected with someone as much as he did with Jihoon, despite their clashing personalities. 

 

“So that’s it then. Okay.” Jihoon’s voice was cold, but barely concealed a shakiness to his words.

 

“Okay.” Soonyoung responded, and Jihoon turned and walked away from him, down the path and through the leaves.

 

A final lie- Soonyoung was anything but okay.

 

♬

 

Soonyoung attended the university in the same town he had always lived. He wasn't lonely, not by a long stretch- he found both old and new friends- but none of them seemed to fill the gap that Jihoon had left. He already knew Wonwoo, and through Wonwoo he met Mingyu. Upon a suggestion from Mingyu, he ended up sharing an apartment with a fellow dance student; Minghao. Becoming friends with Minghao lead him to getting to know Hansol, and through Hansol he met Seungkwan, who also happened to be friends with Seokmin, a school friend of Soonyoung’s, bringing his friendship group in what seemed to be a full circle.

 

However, no matter how many new people Soonyoung seemed to meet, he always found himself missing Jihoon’s presence, both sweet and welcoming but also determined to the point where it could be overwhelming. None of his new friends could replace that.

 

♬

 

The call came late in October, while Soonyoung sat flicking through TV channels and Minghao busied himself in the kitchen by precariously stacking plates in the cupboards. Soonyoung immediately recognised the person speaking down the line as Seungcheol, a friend from school who had attended the same university as Jihoon.

 

“Is this Soonyoung?” Seungcheol spoke apprehensively. 

 

“Yeah, that’s me. Is something wrong?” Soonyoung felt a wave of uneasiness pass over as he sat back in the chair, unsure as to why Seungcheol would be contacting him- he was never a close friend of Soonyoung’s, and as far as Soonyoung could remember, was never in possession of his number. Minghao clearly saw Soonyoung’s face fall into a frown, and put down the plates, moving to stand beside the chair as if ready to comfort Soonyoung.

 

“There was an accident,” Seungcheol began, his voice unsteady. “Jihoon-” 

 

Soonyoung interrupted, a spike of panic rising through him. “Is he okay?”

 

A pause. “No. No, he’s not.” There was a shaky breath from Seungcheol’s end of the line. “He tripped at work and fell down the stairs; It was pretty bad.” 

 

Soonyoung couldn’t move. He tried to respond to Seungcheol but his mouth didn’t work, his body feeling like it was detached from reality, unwilling to function. The world dropped out from beneath his feet and all he could do was fall.

 

“He died about an hour ago. He would have wanted someone to tell you, so here I am.” Another silence, then Seungcheol hung up and the line went dead. Soonyoung’s phone slipped out of his grasp, hitting the edge of the table as it fell. Minghao was beside him in an instant, an arm wrapping around his shoulder and pulling him in close. 

 

Pulling a cushion from the couch into his lap and burying his face in it, Soonyoung let himself cry till he couldn’t any more, till his breathing came out in shaky gasps and his eyes were sore and red, letting everything out till there was nothing but emptiness left. 

 

“Hey, is this-” Minghao queried, picking up a folded up sheet of paper from where it was placed on the coffee table and holding it out for Soonyoung to look at. Taking it with shaking hands, Soonyoung unfolded it, then let it flutter to the floor as soon as he took in its contents.

 

Jihoon’s number.

 

If the news of Jihoon’s accident had been painful- then the knowledge that Jihoon _ still _ cared felt like dying.

 

♬

 

It took him almost a year to get around to calling Jihoon. Months spent with his number folded in pockets, left on table tops and passed from hand to hand, the paper worn and crumpled from being handled so frequently. Months spent typing the digits into his phone then being too afraid to press call, too afraid of what Jihoon would say to him. 

 

His friends tried to help at first; Minghao offered to type in the number and call it for him so he couldn’t back away, Seokmin offered to sit with him and provide morale support and Seungkwan even suggested signing up to one of the counselling services available for people having difficulties with their numbers. Soonyoung turned all of them down, and eventually they stopped trying to persuade him. 

 

It wasn’t until Junhui died- an unexpected car accident that had shaken their whole friendship group- that Soonyoung decided that calling Jihoon might be the only way to put his mind at rest. 

 

He called Junhui while Minghao was out at the dance studio, having to pause for breath part way though after crying seemed to get in the way of breathing. They spoke quietly and discussed dance, Minghao and letting go. 

 

_ “Waiting just causes more problems than it solves.”  _ Junhui’s words brought Soonyoung back to sitting in his bedroom with moonlight filtering in through the window, while Jihoon rested a hand on his knee and sung his fears away.

 

Soonyoung finally made up his mind.

 

♬

 

The next day, he typed Jihoon’s number into his phone, and made the call. The phone rang, each tone chipping away at Soonyoung’s nerves, almost prompting him to hang up.

 

“Hello?” Jihoon’s voice cut off his worries abruptly, sounding exactly the same as Soonyoung remembered, and it took all of his willpower to stop himself from breaking down on the spot. The rain tapped gently against the glass in the window, sliding down in droplets as Soonyoung swallowed and spoke, voice shaky.

 

“Hi, Jihoon.” His hands shook visibly, the grip on his phone unsteady. “I’m,” He paused to swallow again, finding it difficult to speak. “I’m sorry.” 

 

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. “It took you a long time to get around to calling me.” Soonyoung found that he couldn’t read the tone of Jihoon’s voice any more. 

 

“I was scared. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to know what you’d say to me.” The words escaped before Soonyoung could stop them, spilling out his fears. “I thought you’d be so angry and I didn’t think I could deal with it.”

 

“I was angry.” Jihoon’s voice was steady. “I blamed myself for such a long time- I thought I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t interesting enough for you. Once I felt better about myself, I was angry at you for putting me through that.” 

 

Soonyoung fought back the urge to cry, curling up tighter on the couch as if it would help him avoid the waves of guilt that threatened him. “I made a mistake. I broke up with you because I thought being around me would hold you back, I never thought that-” The words caught in his throat, tears clinging to his eyelashes. “It’s fine if you don’t want to forgive me.” Soonyoung hated how broken his voice sounded. 

 

“I didn’t want to forgive you at first. But dying makes things like that seem so insignificant. So I forgive you.” Jihoon spoke evenly, no traces of anger present in his voice, and Soonyoung let out a shuddering sigh of relief. “It took a while, but I guess I started to understand why you did it eventually.”

 

“You were always so much better than me and I felt that if you tried to hang onto me, I’d just drag you down. I was holding you back.” Soonyoung wiped tears away from his eyes with the back of his hand. “I didn’t handle it well, so I tried to get you to hate me so you wouldn’t look back once you left. It was selfish though, I know that now.” Jihoon listened quietly.

 

“I spent so long thinking I was just too boring for you.” 

 

“You were never boring!” Soonyoung scrambled to affirm him. “I loved you so much, I just felt like I was inadequate.” 

 

“That’s good to know then.” They fell into silence, the lack of words uncomfortable compared to how it used to be, when they would spend hours sitting without a single word passed between them while still feeling content with each other’s company..

 

“Did you ever get to have a phonecall?” Soonyoung asked hesitantly, earning an amused huff from Jihoon.

 

“No, I never did. Honestly, I lost interest in them after we broke up. Too many memories that I didn’t want to revisit.” Another amused noise sounded from Jihoon’s end of the line. “It’s funny that the first time I experienced the phone calls was when I died.” The silence this time was a little more comfortable, the conversation easing them into a more comfortable state.

 

“I ended up becoming a dance teacher at the Studio I used to practice at when I was younger.” Soonyoung inputted, attempting to keep the conversation going. 

 

“I became a producer. It was nothing special and I never composed anything big, but I enjoyed making music for a living.” Soonyoung could hear an almost wistful note to Jihoon’s voice. “Hey, there’s something I want you to do. When this call is over, I need you to contact Seungcheol and tell him your address. I need him to send you something.”

 

“What for?” Soonyoung questioned, confused.

 

“I asked you to do something for me a while ago yet you never got around to doing it.” Jihoon’s answer was vague.

 

They made conversation for a while longer, swapping words about life and how things had been, warmth filling their voices the longer they talked. Soonyoung glanced out the window of the apartment at where the rain was beginning to ease off, the sun starting to splinter through the blanket of thick, grey clouds.

 

“I miss you a lot.” Jihoon’s voice was surprisingly vulnerable, uneasy sounding for the first time since Soonyoung had made the phone call.

 

“I miss you too.” Soonyoung was hit once again with the knowledge that- after calling Jihoon- things would be over for good, the thought causing a flutter of distress to bloom in his chest. “I’m never going to get to see you again though. I’m never going to get to know know if you dyed your hair any more colours,or what clothes you like to wear now, or whether you got any taller, whether you still like hot chocolate or-” The words spilled out of Soonyoung before he could stop them, his voice breaking.

 

“Do you know why I always loved autumn so much?” Jihoon cut him off. “It’s because it shows us that letting things go- like the trees letting go of their leaves- doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.” 

 

Curling his legs up to his chest, Soonyoung buried his face in his knees and started crying once again. Jihoon remained silent for a while, seeming to be deep in thought, then he started singing. Soonyoung didn’t recognise the melody or the lyrics, realising quickly that it was most likely something that Jihoon had composed himself. The song was calming, a light, sweet tune that brought with it images of slow walks at sunset, hand in hand as time passed by with no end, stealing Soonyoung’s worries away slowly just as Jihoon’s voice always had done. 

 

The song faded out into whispered goodbyes, and the phone call ended.

 

♬

 

A memory stick arrived in the mail a week later, containing an extensive list of compositions, some complete, some unfinished, all titled under Jihoon’s name. 

 

A promise that Soonyoung had made years ago rose up from the back of his mind like a good memory.

 

_ I want you to choreograph something I’ve composed some day. _

 

Picking up his choreography notebook for what felt like the first time in months, Soonyoung headed along to the dance studio as the leaves on the trees above turned golden with the colours of autumn. 

  
♬  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> that ending was probably kind of rushed but I'm honestly fed up of the sight of this stupid fic so I don't have it in me to come up with something better  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this mess! Any feedback is really appreciated, and feel free to send me a message on my tumblr (@/kangmoongie) if you have any questions / just want to yell to me about svt
> 
> ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ


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